It is common that people who are promoted within the company are those who have, among other qualities, great communication skills . They are those we admire because they express the right word at the right time, those who know how to say “no” without hurting the feelings of others, people who are consistent with what they think, say and do.
Surely, right now, you remember someone close to you with those characteristics.
Non-violent communication is the methodology created by Marshall Rosenberg , an American psychologist, in the 1960s, and which, despite many years having passed, is still valid, thanks to its excellent results.
This is a very different mode of communication than we are used to.
How many times in our daily lives do we make judgments - mixing them with objective information - give advice without being asked, try to repress the uncomfortable emotions of others, make unconstructive criticism, threaten...
Well, this type of communication is violent, and we practice it without being aware of the damage it can cause to the other person.
The opposite side would be non-violent communication, which seeks to kuwait number in whatsapp establish closeness and proximity with others and which seeks to reach an understanding in which both people win, the famous "win-win."
And now, how can we integrate that non-violent communication?
Traveling along 4 paths. Before entering them, it is essential to empathize with the person, understanding why they do what they do and knowing in advance that what they do has a positive intention, which is to meet their need, although sometimes it is difficult for others to see it.
And be careful… because empathizing does not mean agreeing with what someone does or says, but rather appreciating how that person might be feeling in that situation. The important thing, therefore, is to have the will to understand them, as well as the circumstances surrounding them.
Let's see how we can travel along these 4 paths:
1. Separating judgments from objective facts.
As humans, when faced with an event, we will be invaded by thoughts about what is happening. It is advisable to put them aside and focus on what exactly has happened: it is not the same to say: "we have been waiting for you for 20 minutes to start the meeting" than to say, "ugh, you are so late."
2. Express how we feel about that circumstance.
Here we have to draw on our broad emotional vocabulary and choose the emotion that best fits our feelings: "angry, helpless, sad...", it is not enough to say, you make me feel good or bad. An example would be, "when I see that you don't arrive on time for the meeting, you make me feel helpless, since there are many of us who waste time waiting for you."
3. Express what our need is and ask for a change in behavior.
“I need you to change this behavior and, from now on, arrive on time to meetings.”
4. Acknowledgements.
"I really appreciate you making that effort."
What do we gain by walking along these paths?
That the person is motivated to change, that he responds to our request vs. reacts abruptly, that communication flows and that we manage to express our need without hurting. In short, improving communication, assertiveness and creating closeness with others.
It is true that it is up to the other person to agree to our request or not, that is something that is beyond our control.
Finally, it should be noted that words are not innocent, words create realities, and that is why we must be very careful when selecting them. As Dr. Miguel Ángel Ruiz said in his book “The Four Agreements”: “Be impeccable with your words.” Taking care of our communication can be the first step when it comes to promoting our work.